It’s coming up to that time again, exams approaching, essays due in, and the one place you’ll all choose to flee? The library. Finals week is very much like the Union on a Friday night – swarming with people you never thought you’d meet, and suddenly finding yourself in uncomfortably close proximity you hope you’ll never have to meet again! Here are just a few of them…

1.      The ‘Pro’ Procrastinator

Usually found on the main floor this person is easily identified with the variety of blue colours presented on their screen – otherwise known as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – you get the jist! It’s difficult to wonder why this person ever bothers coming.

2.      The Poser

Clearly a fan of “Library Spotted”, this is the girl with the cleavage on show, excess make up, and the tightest Topshop jeans – she has evidently spent more time getting ready than she intends to spend at Pilkington.

Or of course the guy in the snapback, jeans and vest top, because clearly it’s a place people go to pull, and putting those “flexed abs” on show is a definite way to get a girl…

3.      The ‘Chirpse’

Otherwise known as ‘Shark’ or ‘Flirt’, you will never find this guy in the quiet section. Whilst also fitting into the ‘Poser’ category you can distinguish them either sat with their group of guy friends hunting the next conquest, or alternating between tables picking on innocent females who are clearly very uncomfortable.

4.      The Onesie Goers

Yes, it’s true that during exams being nocturnal becomes highly acceptable, especially considering the difficulty of getting a seat during the day. However, having a midnight session in the library does not make it acceptable to roll up in your pajamas or onesies. It is a place to work! This leads us on to our next culprit…

5.      The ‘Napper’

In this case I take back my last point. If you enter the library during exam period I can guarantee you will see these people. Usually crashed out on the café sofas or slumped with their arms and head over the desk this person has evidently made the 24 hour library their home. Powernapping is not the way to get you through exams, go home!

6.      The Noise patrol

Sometimes people just like to get themselves known, however please take note that the library is a place people like to work. These are the ones you can hear talking on their phones from the other side of the room, playing music loudly on their laptops or gossiping about the events of last night’s ‘Hey Ewe” with the big group of friends they’ve just rocked up with – Again, definitely questionable people to make the journey.

7.      The Crammers

We all know these people. These are the ones adamant to make every Union night and Echos Saturday throughout University life whilst we stay glued to our desks, hard at work. Distinguishable by their six-pack of Redbull, hands across their heads trying to make sense of how to fit a semesters worth of work into one night, and watering eyes, trying to prevent the stress forcing them into a breakdown.

8.      The Debate Team

During exam period the library is a very stressful place to be, everyone has their own revision schedules for the complex courses offered to us by this prestigious university; so hearing a whole new bunch of terminology can only rile us more. This group of people can be misinterpreted as arguing, identified through their heated conversations, and their ‘No, you’re wrong, it’s this!’ conversations. Hint: the library provides study rooms for a reason.

9.      The ‘I’ll sit in front of the computer with my laptop’ people

Ever wondered why it’s so hard to find a computer at one am? This time says goodbye to the majority, so you’d think it’d be easy to turn up without your laptop and make use of the computers, right? No. Guaranteed there are always people who have struggled to find a seat a few hours before and think it acceptable to sit themselves in front of a perfectly useable computer to do their work – or the people who simply refuse to leave their friend actually making use of the computer next to them. Now while we accept that overcrowding can cause issues, please be considerate and see that you are preventing the use of a valid piece of technology.

10.   The Newbies

Whilst some of us can’t imagine life without the library, there’s always a vast amount of people who, until exams, didn’t want to believe the library existed and, quite frankly, couldn’t point it out on a map. These people are the ones holding you up on your way in, looking confused at the ‘Scan-In’ system, looking at every available sign in sight and, eventually, after looking confused for a short while, run to the front desk to ask where to go. You’ll get there, just hang in there.

11.   The Pizza Pals

Usually in large groups these people reward their hours of work with Domino’s, and whilst making the library smell deliciously like a takeaway succeed in making the lonely ones incredibly jealous!

12.   The Flirts

Ok so you both knew you were going that’s for sure, you don’t need to bore the entire floor with your ‘I didn’t know you were coming’ opener. Distinguished by loud gasps, exaggerated giggles and flirty comments these are the ones trying to play it cool, whilst actually frustrating everyone within a ten meter radius.

Aimee Jepson


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