Father Christmas, possibly the biggest con artist of all time. He slyly sneaks into our lives every year through adverts, stories, and classic songs chanting about how he ‘see’s you when you’re sleeping’ and ‘is coming to town’.
But he’s not coming to town and never will come to town, because kids, Father Christmas just isn’t real, and I say the sooner we kill him off for good the better.
Now Santa Claus, as some call him, is well known for his classic red and white suit, but who knew that originally, before he was effectively hired by Coca Cola (you know that brand that play the same glorified Christmas advert every year) he actually wore a green robe and was sometimes drawn with a red beard?
Coca Cola started using him in their advertising over 75 years ago, leading to the image of Father Christmas we all now have, so is he really adding magic to this wonderful time of year, or just being a big attention seeker working for an even bigger boss? And what happens if later on another company decides they want a piece of the Mr Claus action? Could we have the jolly fellow chanting ‘I’m loving it’ in a yellow suit gorging on a Big Mac and fries?
It’s known that this so-called Father of Christmas is loosely based on a real man, St Nicolas, who was a priest in the third century and famous for helping and giving to those less fortunate than himself. This is a touching story, but one that I doubt many wide-eyed children being fed the ultimate lie will hear until many years after their worlds have been crushed by the Santa-isn’t-real truth.
And now we come to the crux of the matter, the lie that is our beloved Father Christmas. We are told in the 10 commandments, throughout school and by our parents never to lie, so the hypocrisy in coming up with an elaborate tale of this magical man sent all over the world to deliver presents to children is ridiculous.
He’s also breaking the law, whether for good purposes or not a strange man we’ve never met before sneaking into our homes in the dead of night should be classed as breaking and entering.
It can also be viewed as an excuse for lazy parenting, as the thought of Santa’s elves watching you all year to check you’ve been well behaved is a threat many desperately use to keep their children in line.
All this isn’t even mentioning the fact that Santa’s rounded figure is most definitely promoting childhood obesity. If their idol can get round the world in one night with his curvy build there’s no need for all the chubby kids out there to stop after one mince pie is there?
The heartbreak and tragedy you feel once you realise the truth can sometimes make it hard for you to believe in anything else again. You look to your parents and see liars, you look to the television and see more lies, and then you see the children younger than you who still believe, whose world is yet to be destroyed.
And through the pain you feel you’re now forced to become a part of the lie as instructed by your deceitful parents to ‘not to ruin Father Christmas for anyone else’. Your innocence dies as you realise Christmas will never be the same again…
So there we have it, my argument about the reasons we should kill Father Christmas forever. Some would argue that killing him would ruin the magic of Christmas, but we all survive once the harsh truth is shown to us, and at least then some big hoax of a character isn’t hogging the credit for all the marvellous gifts you may buy and receive at this time of year.