Lizzie Akass looks into what it means to be a Southerner at Loughborough…

1-People will imitate your accent, and think you’re posh

This can be incredibly entertaining, and in all fairness the imitations go both ways between Southerners and Northerners. But going from being completely average back home, to suddenly being told you sound like the Queen, and being asked how many corgis you own, and if you live near a castle, or if you own any land . . . it almost makes you feel like you’re talking to the type of American that believes all British people know Emma Watson personally.

2- No one has ever heard of your town/city, so you have to relate where you live to London, even if you’re nowhere near

It doesn’t matter if you live in the heart of London, or five hours away. For a lot of people you meet, this is literally the only place you can relate your home to.

3- Sharing a kitchen with Northerners and Midlandsers, you’ve never seen so much pastry or gravy in your life

I’m seriously still trying to get over the fact that pies come in tins, it boggles my mind. The great chip debate is also rife, as the topping/sauce you choose apparently is crucial to where you’re from. Although the look of shock and horror on your flatmates’ faces when you tell them that pies, gravy, chips, and curry, aren’t an everyday staple for you, is pretty amazing.

4- Taking a jacket on a night out is seen as weird

Turns out, not wanting to get pneumonia isn’t very tough. You may get called a ‘Southern Fairy’, which you will have to ask your flatmates to explain to you. However, you will be told that, ‘it’s OK though, because you guys call us ‘Northern monkeys’’ – which you will never have done, or even heard of, in your entire life. You will have to ask them to explain that too.

5- Possibly the biggest one: people try to talk to you on public transport, and it freaks you out

At what point in the country does it suddenly become acceptable to ignore the Southern rule of being silent and avoiding eye contact at all costs whilst traveling on public transport? Unless you are elderly, struggling with a suitcase, or someone’s service dog who you can sneakily pet on the head whilst sitting behind their owner, there is a rule against any contact or conversation, and down South it is strictly enforced by everyone’s (naturally) unspoken agreement. We’re not trained for conversation on the train. You might as well politely ask us to mug ourselves for you, because despite your friendly tone, you’ll get the same look of terror in response.

Lizzie Akass


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