LSU CASH’s Workshop Coordinator and volunteer writer, Megan McKone, breaks down the importance of love languages and how they can be utilised in a relationship.
Not everyone feels loved in the same way and that is okay, the way you might feel love might be different to how your partner, your best friend, or your family member might feel love. People tend to show their love through their own love language and if their love language is different from their partner’s they may not feel loved. Have you ever wondered why you do not always feel loved, or have you ever wondered how someone you love cannot feel it? Love languages is the answer.
There are five different love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts, and quality time. You can take the official quiz here to find out your love language. Communication is often the biggest barrier when it comes to all relationships, not just romantic relationships. By understanding your love language, you can learn how you prefer to be loved so you can help guide your partner, and you can also learn how to better show your loved ones your love.
Words of Affirmation
Sometimes verbal confirmation of your love can go a long way, a simple I love you means the world to someone whose love language is words of affirmation. Even just saying you’re proud of them can let them know you love them. Maybe you could leave a little note telling a loved one how much they mean to you.
Acts of Service
Ever walked into a spectacularly clean kitchen and thought wow? Maybe you hate drying the pots so your loved one does it for you and you feel loved, or maybe you hate doing the laundry and when you come home and it is done for you, you immediately feel loved. Acts of service is about doing menial tasks for your partner that they might not enjoy. Actions speak louder than words for someone whose love language is acts of service. If your partner’s love language is acts of service, then maybe you could do a task they do not enjoy, and you can watch their face light up. You’re welcome.
Physical Touch is exactly as it sounds, physical touch is not necessarily sexual. An individual whose love language is physical touch may just appreciate sitting close to you, or a simple hug.
Some people need a visual representation of your love, this comes in the form of gifts. This is not a selfish love language, it’s not about money, you could even make the gift yourself, it is about you taking time out of your day to think of that person, the gift is that token of your love. Next time you see something you think your partner might like, no matter how small, gifting it to them will make them feel loved and thought of.
Does it annoy you when you are spending time with someone you love and they are constantly on their phone? Congratulations, your love language is likely quality time. Quality time is about spending time together, you do not have to particularly be doing anything but them spending time with you makes you feel loved. If you know your partner’s love language is quality time, try to put the phone away and give them your undivided attention. Not listening to them while they talk can be really hurtful for them, so try to understand that your loved one just simply wants to spend time with you so they can feel your love and show you love.
Most often people will have a primary and secondary love language, you could try taking the quiz yourself to better understand how you like to give and receive love, you could even try it with a friend or partner to improve your relationship!
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Featured header image by Annabel Smith.