Schems Koperly, Comment Editor and Head of Online, Marketing and Distribution, brings us her view on settling beef with some handy tips on how to make some situations better!
What should you do to stop conflicts from escalating? How can you act as a safe mediator when it comes to unwanted beef? Here are some tips on how you can reconcile dodgy situations and put bullies in their place.
Beef at the Kitchen Table
What to do when two friends or flatmates start arguing while you’re having your dinner? Well, political discussions or plain emotional disputations are certainly natural and okay. However, it’s a different thing when they start to personally insult or even physically assault each other. That’s the point where you have to intervene. Best thing to do here is to ask them questions in order to look for similarities between the two. For example, if the two are arguing over the Tories, it shows that they’re both politically interested. Here you could ask: What fears do you have? Try to move them away from politics and direct the argument to their personal experiences concerning the topic. At moments like this you can also ask for their wishes. Be the best Oprah you can be for this talk show at your kitchen table. Remember though: If things get racist, sexist or just too much, you need to step in and be the one to put an end to the discussion.
Beef at the Bus Stop
How do you react when someone in public transport accosts somebody? It’s important that you have an on-going friendly eye contact with the threatened person. This way you’re showing them that they’re not alone. Then you need to include other people, ask the person sitting next to you: What do you think of this? Or just stand up and shout: Someone’s being attacked here, help me! In no way should you directly address the assaulter or approach them as you may get yourself hurt. Be careful – such situations can change suddenly, so always keep your phone near and make sure you’ve got good signal. Better to be safe than sorry!
Beef on the Internet
What do I do when someone is bullying people on Facebook? Again, you can probably calm things down by asking specific questions that refer to the hater’s incentive. Why do you judge other people like that? If you’ve got counterarguments, use these! But make sure to stay unemotional and factual – don’t become insulting yourself. When it comes to targeted cyber-bullying and illegal utterances: Report and turn them in!
Schems Koperly
Comment Editor and Head of Online, Marketing, and Distribution
