I have played all levels of cricket: from under 9s to under 19s, from Division 7 to Division 1, from friendlies and school matches to national knockouts and county games. I have seen thousands of wickets in my lifetime (and got out enough times myself!), but Jamie Smith’s dismissal to Marnus Labuschagne in Sydney sits comfortably as the worst.
Sure, I’ve swiped across the line against plenty of part-time spinners, but I don’t play for England. I’m not batting to save the last shred of dignity available for my country, on what has been a woeful tour for both myself and my team. Despite all this, Jamie Smith still produced this awful piece of cricket – yet it might not have been the worst thing we’ve seen from England all series. It might not be the worst thing we saw from England all day!
Day 2 at Sydney has put Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniel to shame, as England took it one step further: producing the dumb, the dumber and the dumbest.
The Dumb
16 balls into the start of day 2. That’s all it took for Harry Brook to reel out what is seemingly becoming his trademark: a wild flash outside off stump, with zero foot movement, zero conviction and one long walk back to the pavilion. Brook has been dismissed 8 times in this Ashes series, and on 6 of those occasions, he’s nicked off.
This is supposed to be the heir to the Joe Root throne, the next big thing in English cricket, a 3-format captain and star, and yet 35 Test matches in, he’s showing no signs of maturity. Is this not worrying?
Sure, Brook’s rhythm would have been disrupted by the rain the day before, but the same goes for Joe Root, who was raising his bat for an incredible 160 (242) a few hours later. That’s what the greats do: they knuckle down when the going gets tough.
The Dumber
Surprisingly this was not, in my opinion, England’s worst moment of the day – but Jamie Smith’s horror show was still tough viewing. I’m not just talking about his dismissal; I’m talking about the 75 balls that came before it. He managed to nick off on his 8th ball; get caught at cover off a no-ball then flash one through the slips the following delivery; snick another one over the slips; spoon 2 consecutive deliveries up in the air; and finally, play one of the worst shots the game has ever seen, to be dismissed when his team most needed him.
Labuschagne did not get Jamie Smith out, Jamie Smith got Jamie Smith out, and quite frankly, our eyes were all better off for it. Smith’s sketchy innings summed up his tour. I’m a fan of the keeper: his 184* at Edgbaston this year (while heartbreaking for India) was incredibly impressive and shows the kind of success you can reap when you play meaningful shots. However, I fear that Smith, while incredibly talented, may slowly be descending into one of those players I spoke about in my previous article: a product of Bazball, who is losing the line between positive batting and brainless batting.
The Dumbest
Travis Head, on 91*, has scored 59 runs in this innings through third man, point and cover. 23 of those have come from the cut shot. It’s bold to claim this is worse than Smith’s dismissal, but to me, it’s not just dumb, it’s inexcusable. Knowing this, if you were Ben Stokes, where would you tell your bowlers not to bowl? If Travis Head had spent the past six weeks devouring your bowlers through that area, where would you tell them not to bowl? In his 170 (219) at Adelaide, he scored 99 of his runs through those areas.
Of course, you would hope Ben Stokes is not telling his bowlers to bowl short and wide to Travis Head (or just about every other Australian batter), but the fact that they continue to do it, and continue to be punished, is worrying. At the highest level, control isn’t a skill – it’s a pre-requisite, an expectation, a requirement. Boland, Neser, Starc, Cummins, and Hazlewood could all hit a penny if required; I’m not confident that one English frontline seamer could do the same.
It’s hard not to sound like “Viven en un country”, but these seamers have got the best coaches, facilities, and technology. They’re picked because in theory, they’re the best bowlers that the nation can produce. Yet they seem physically unable to land the ball in the correct spot for consecutive deliveries.
Someone like Sam Cook, a metronomic bowler, must be livid at his omission given his Australian counterpart, Michael Neser, picked up 4 wickets today; but unfortunately, that’s Bazball folks!
