Dear… is a new series of articles that Label will be posting. Throughout this series, people will share open letters addressed to anyone from boyfriends, friends, family to even pets. These open letters allow for us to explore the minds of others and their deepest thoughts. From personal journeys to self-discovery, this is a series that is worth looking out for and giving a read.
Volunteer writer, Leah Langley, starts off the ‘Dear…’ series with a wonderfully written and empowering letter to the mysterious ‘x’.
You have been a part of my life for nine years now and what a journey those nine years have been. For the first five years you had complete control and I was more than happy to give it to you. Who was to say no when you have so much to offer me? You offered me the safe haven that I felt the crazy world we live in could not provide. You offered me the peace of mind that I could not find anywhere else. When I had no one to talk to, and nowhere to turn, you were there. You lifted me up and gave my mind the release and quietness that I so desperately craved. I didn’t realise how much you had embedded yourself into my life until it came to giving you up.
Four years ago I made that choice to fight against you. I decided that I wanted to control my life and what direction I took with it. I wanted to take back the hold that you so tightly had on me. It was easier said than done. You fought back, but you fought twice as hard as what I could manage. You overtook every thought I had and every action that I completed. You weren’t prepared to give up on the work that you had mastered for five years. You had taken the person that I once was and completely remoulded her into someone that even I could not recognise. You had the power that I didn’t even know existed and you completely turned my life upside down.
I won though, didn’t I? I have all the control now. You don’t get to decide who I am anymore and you don’t get to decide what I do. You will always be a big part of my life and you have certainly left your mark to ensure that I never forget you. You don’t realise how much you helped me though. Your mission to destroy me was actually what made me and for that I’ll forever be grateful. It took you destroying my life for me to realise how much it actually meant to me, but once I did, I was unstoppable. You were the best and worst part of my life, but without you I wouldn’t be me.
Thank you for making me realise what I was capable of.