The Five People You’ll Find At University

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1.      The Facebook “Event-er”

You log into facebook to find you have a notification…maybe someones liked your profile photo, or even your witty status, or your great comeback you left on a friends photo, but alas, it’s an event invite…from someone you don’t actually know. (You join the event anyway, in the hope it makes you look like a sociable and outgoing person, even thought you know there is no way you’re actually going to go)

Most likely to hear them say: Nothing. The Facebook “Event-ers” are the elusive kinds, who only seem to exist on social media accounts. You don’t even remember when they added you, but somehow you’re friends.

Most likely to wonder: Do they really go to all these events?

2.      The Library Lover

They’ve got a regular table at the library, usually taking up enough space for three people with their bags and books pilled high. With the amount of time they spend in one building they couldn’t possibly have any work left to do (or perhaps they’re still hoping to make it onto the Library Spotted page…)

Most likely to hear them say: A few mumbles here and there asking you to watch their stuff once they finally stretch their legs and relieve themselves. Alternatively, you may not engage in any conversation with a Library Lover, instead receive eyes rolls and death glares when you politely ask them to move their things.

Most likely to wonder: Do they actually have that much work, or have they just lost their student ID card and are now trapped in Pilkington?

3.      The Sporty One

A very obvious one to spot in Loughborough University, usually dressed head to toe in stash; as if they’re flying a flag for their particular sport, and to let everyone know they’re part of a team. They may even have their weapons on show, and will try and sit next to you in a lecture, meaning you have to share your legroom with a lacrosse/hockey stick or rackets.

Most likely to hear them say: ‘(defensively) ___________ IS A REAL SPORT!’

Most likely to find them: Celebrating their sporting achievements in Hey Ewe.

Most likely to wonder: Do they own any normal clothes?

4.      The Constantly Hung-over One

How to Spot: Most usually asleep (during the day). These are the kinds of people who look like they haven’t had a decent nights kip since Year Eight, yet are always, always up for a night out. They are living the life as the ‘Eternal Fresher’, and are never usually found in lectures.

Most likely to hear them say: ‘Wild Card!’

Most likely to wonder: How on earth do they have so much stamina for nights out?

5. The Busy Bee

They’re on a committee for at least two or three different things, a departmental rep, and student ambassador, do volunteering work, actively involved in a society, has a job and still goes to all their lectures.

Most likely to find them: They’re so busy you can never get hold of them; they need to come with their own tracking device.

Most likely to hear them say: ‘can’t make Tuesday night, or Wednesday night, but am free on Thursday at 7am for fifteen minutes’.

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